They talk over you. They are louder than you. Interruption is second nature to them. Moody and self absorbed. Boastful about a kingdom where their presence alone is the nourishing nucleus of prosperity. We are the ears to their incomparable woes of life’s hardship and unkindness. Our minds become wells that run as deep as their convictions about the true meaning of sacrifice. Before we know it, we feel enslaved by their emotional discharge yet our stomachs become sick of the inability to push back and our necks sore from the constant shifts of nodding to stiffness.
Like a roller coaster or tidal wave that will leave you nauseous, you’re not sure just how to cope with such people who you depend on in the ecosystem of your life or business.
Not only is this unhealthy, but it creates toxic work environments. I have seen companies rot from within and dissecting the root cause is usually infested with a “DUMED” type of environment where the only work being done is self preservation and blame.
I call it Disastrous Unteachable Mindset Elitist Disorder–sounds like DUMED (Doomed) to me!
So how do you know if you, someone you know or your organization is infected with DUMED- Disastrous Unteachable Mindset Elitist Disorder?
DUMED – Ramy’s Definition: To have reached the brink of acute mental narcissistic tendencies where learning anything from a different source is hindered by ones’ self view as judge, jury, king or queen, master, leader, revolutionary, and/or savior.
Example: She cannot accept let alone entertain an idea other than through her own creation or experience. Therefore she has been deemed “DUMED” and dangerous to innovative growth of the organization.
Although many may appear to be successful and charming, do not be fooled–these are the DUMED who thrive off of your emotional imprisonment to feed their insatiable appetites of a revering audience to admire and appreciate them.
For some of us, DUMED individuals take the form of our best clients. Others may take the form of a family member or colleague. From C.E.O’s to where the wind blows you won’t have trouble finding one. So what can we do about it?
“Just as a well-filled day brings blessed sleep, so a well-employed life brings a blessed death” Leonardo da Vinci
Your mind should use its energy and resources for learning and innovation, not constantly defending your emotional barrier reef.
If you cannot escape these DUMED individuals or organizations, you must adapt to them or weigh breaking off the relationship altogether. This isn’t meant to sound like a freak movie where blood thirsty vampires infect the living, but if you find yourself adopting their unnatural habits in the organization, you’ve got an even bigger problem on your hands, and you certainly don’t want that.
Managing a relationship with someone infected with DUMED (Disastrous Unteachable Mindset Elitist Disorder) is very hard and emotionally draining work. Freedom of thought can become absent and often times you may enter a mentally haunting weather storm where the forecast is based on the mood stream.
With that said, we don’t just want to blame others for our unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Don’t just look outward, be brave enough to also look inward at the effect you are having on your team, company, organization and even family.
The cure for DUMED starts with being teachable.
1. Are you listening intently to feedback at work without prejudgement of the person giving it?
2. Do you consider your subordinate feedback as important as that of someone in a higher position of authority?
3. How often do you show signs of appreciation by performing an act of kindness to those who you work with?
4. Are you genuinely aware that your behavior is directly linked to the productivity of the organization and all those that work with you?
5. Do you take responsibility upon yourself to set an example of higher standards even in the face of adversity?
Answer those questions as honestly as you can and if you’d like to share your experiences publicly below or privately with me, please do not hesitate to do so.
So then, are you teachable? Or are you too infected with DUMED (Disastrous Unteachable Mindset Elitist Disorder)?
Thanks for reading!
Ramy Ballout
Business Coach & Founder at AirLinked™ (www.airlinked.com)